Okay, to be honest, I love all women, even though a lot of them haven’t loved me. I’ve got copies of the restraining orders to prove it. But I seem to have a history with Black women, and I love it. Another woman might snub you if you so much as say hello, or mess with your head or your heart. But there’s nothing like a strong, confident Black woman to put a smile on my face, and quite a few of them have done it over the years.
I was reminded of that yesterday when Terry and I drove to Columbus, Mississippi to have dinner at the Hibachi Buffet. It was my reward to myself for finishing Jackpot, my new John Lee Quarrels book. Hey, some guys buy Corvettes and some guys get a mistress. I don’t fit in Corvettes very well these days and I’d probably hurt myself faster with a mistress than I would a Corvette, so I stick to Chinese food.
Anyway, we were at the buffet, and I went to reach for something at the same time a stunning young Black woman did. I stepped aside and excused myself and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there. You know how it is with fat old guys and food. We get tunnel vision.” She gave me a dazzling smile and said, “Oh, come on now, you’re not that old.” I felt kind of good for a minute, but back at our table I realized she never mentioned the fat guy thing. I guess it is what it is. 😊
Now, a Black woman won’t call you fat, but she won’t go out of her way to correct you if you say it about yourself. A few years ago when Terry and I were browsing through an antique mall in Titusville, Florida she was off someplace looking at things and I was in another aisle when I came across an African American lady who was probably in her late 50s or early 60s. We said hello, and she said she had never been in an antique shop before, and it kind of surprised her because so many of the things that were called antiques were things that she had when she was growing up or as a young married woman. Me being me, I asked her if that meant she was old, too. She smiled said, “No, it just means I’m vintage.”
A while later, I bumped into her in a crowded booth in another aisle and she laughed when I said they needed to make more room in the booths or else I needed to go on a diet because those booths weren’t meant for chubby guys. She was a nice lady, and I enjoyed chatting with her. Then a few minutes later, it happened a third time, when she walked into a vendor booth where I was. I said, “You know, we can’t keep hanging out together like this. People are going to talk.” She laughed and said it probably wouldn’t work out anyway. I asked her if it was the age thing or the white thing, and she slapped me playfully on the arm and said, “No, baby, it’s the chubby thing.” Funny, she didn’t seem all that chubby to me.
Here’s another example of how Black women can put a smile on my face. In cool weather if we’re not going anywhere, I like to get comfortable in a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants if all I’m doing is writing. We went to a Walmart once, and while Terry was shopping, I went to the men’s department and was looking for sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I couldn’t find any, but I saw a very large African-American woman who looked to be in her late 40s or early 50s wearing a blue Walmart vest. “Excuse me,” I said, “do you have sweats?” The lady put her hands on her hips and said, “Darlin’, I got sweats, I got chills, I got night terrors, and I got hot flashes. Pick whichever one you want. And if you want some hair for that bald head of yours, I got it growing out of places no lady should ever have hair growing.”
Yep, I love Black women!
Congratulations Ryan Bullington, winner of our drawing for a Kindle Paperwhite e-book reader with a 6.8” display, adjustable warm light, up to 10 weeks of battery life, and 20% faster page turns than previous models.
We had 178 entries this time around. Stay tuned, a new contest starts soon. Note: Due to the high shipping cost of printed books and Amazon restrictions on e-books to foreign countries, only entries with US addresses and e-mail addresses are allowed. After 90 days, unclaimed prizes revert back to the drawing pool for a future contest.
And finally, here’s a chuckle to start your day from the collection of funny signs we see in our travels and that our readers share with us.
Thought For The Day – I sat quietly with my own thoughts today. Remind me never to do that again!