I have said many times here in the blog that every night before we go to bed, Miss Terry and I cuddle for at least half an hour or so, and the last thing we say to each other before we go to sleep is, “I love you.” We go to sleep with me spooning her, and when one or the other of us gets up to go to the bathroom during the night when they get back into bed, our hands automatically find each other, and we hold hands in our sleep. The same thing in the morning, the first thing we say to each other is “I love you,” and we cuddle for at least half an hour or so.
You might think that’s only for young lovers or people in their first year or two of marriage, but we’ll be celebrating our 25th anniversary in January, and this year we both turn 70, so I guess that’s not necessarily so. I believe it’s important to have intimacy like that in a relationship, though more than one person has told us that we are codependent. Maybe so, but that’s okay. It works for us.
The reason I bring this up is because in an online writers group I belong to, a young author who has not been in a long-term relationship was asking those of us who are what kind of routines we have when it comes to things like that. I shared how Terry and I do things, and other people talked about their relationships, but the response from one author surprised a lot of people.
She said that she and her husband have been married for 14 years and there is absolutely “none of that nonsense.” According to her, they have a close relationship and both enjoy sex two or three times a week, but once that is over with, she doesn’t want him touching her or holding her or any of that “mushy stuff” because they are not a couple of “silly teenagers.” Someone asked what about romance, and the woman said that romance was way overrated and that on their first anniversary, her husband brought her a dozen roses, and she threw them in the trash and told him not to waste money like that ever again. I think a third woman in the group echoed the feelings of many of us when she replied, “I don’t know who I feel more sorry for, you or your husband.”
Maybe it’s the way I was raised. I never remember my father going to work without first kissing my mother goodbye and telling her that he loved her and her saying the same thing back to him. They went through some rough years in their lives, being separated by war and burying three of their children as infants, as well as two adult sons, and I’m sure they had their arguments, but I never remember them doing so. Things like that were kept behind closed doors. They were married 55 years, so I guess they must have been doing something right. One of the most valuable pieces of advice my father gave me and that I have always remembered is that when it comes to a wife, treat her every day of your marriage just like you would on your first date. Open doors for her, compliment her, let her know you appreciate everything she does, and that she is the most important person in the world to you. My old man didn’t have a lot of formal schooling, but the older I get, the more I realize how wise he was.
And finally, here’s a chuckle to start your day from the collection of funny signs we see in our travels and that our readers share with us.
Congratulations Pam Beers, winner of our drawing for a hardcover edition of the RV camping journal donated by Barbara House. Barbara makes several variations of these, and they all have pages where you can list the date, weather, where you traveled to and from that day, beginning and ending mileage, campground information including amenities at RV sites, a place for campground reviews, room to record activities, people met along the way, reminders of places to see and things to do the next time you’re in the area, and a page for notes for each day.
We had 29 entries this time around. Stay tuned, a new contest starts soon. Note: Due to the high shipping cost of printed books and Amazon restrictions on e-books to foreign countries, only entries with US addresses and e-mail addresses are allowed.
Thought For The Day – Life isn’t tied with a big red bow, but it’s still a gift.