If I had any hair I probably would have pulled it all out yesterday. Yeah, it was that frustrating. With all of the final changes made to my new Tinder Street book, I formatted the e-book version to get it ready to upload to Amazon. I’ve done this many times, and it’s not very hard to do. However my other novels do not have a table of contents and this one does. That made a big difference.
There are half a dozen things I can do adequately in this world, but a whole bunch more that I stumble over myself trying to get done. Pretty much anything to do with computers falls in that latter category.
I went to the Amazon Kindle bookshelf page where they have a program called Kindle Create, which is supposed to be quick and easy. Maybe it is for someone with half a brain, but for a lunkhead like me, it was neither quick nor easy, and two hours later I finally gave up in frustration.
Then I went to Microsoft Word’s help page, which is the program I use to create my books, and tried to follow their instructions for setting up the table of contents. That was three hours of my life I’ll never get back.
I’m sure glad that nobody took my blood pressure during that time, because it had to be somewhere in the stratosphere. No matter what I did, I could not get the table of contents links to work, and the more I tried, the more I messed it up. Fortunately, I always save two or three copies of a manuscript in different places when I’m working on it, just because of problems like this.
Sometime in the late afternoon I gave up and sent a message to my friend Scarlett Braden Moss, who formats my print books, asking for help. Scarlett is a wizard when it comes to these things, but unfortunately she was not home and didn’t get the message for another couple of hours. But as soon as she did, she messaged me right back and said to send the file over to her, which I did.
She told me not to be mad at her because it would probably take a half hour to do what I had been trying to do without success all day long. Mad at her? I wanted to crawl through the computer screen and kiss her! Not just because she had my book ready in no time at all, but also because Scarlett is a good-looking lady. Does that make me a male chauvinist pig or just a dirty old man? Probably both.
At any rate, she did her thing and sent it back to me and I uploaded the book to Amazon. It was live in less than an hour later, and you can order Tinder Street at this link.
Speaking of pretty and talented ladies, that pretty lady I live with was busy yesterday, too. She started out by doing a bunch of paperwork, then she made three loaves of her oat and flax bread. She has all kinds of kitchen appliances but prefers to knead her bread dough by hand. She says it helps her work out her frustrations when she is twisting and pounding it. I still can’t figure out why she calls every batch of dough by my name.
And while that was baking, she made a wonderful dinner of Chicken Linguini Alfredo. Yes, I know, I’m a very lucky man. Yes, I know I don’t deserve her. No, none of you can have her. I may be fat, dumb, and stupid, but I know a good thing when I’ve got it
Today is your last chance to enter our Free Drawing for an audiobook of Big Lake Blizzard, the fourth book in my Big Lake mystery series. To enter, click on this Free Drawing link or the tab at the top of this page and enter your name (first and last) in the comments section at the bottom of that page (not this one). Only one entry per person per drawing please, and you must enter with your real name. To prevent spam or multiple entries, the names of cartoon or movie characters are not allowed. The winner will be drawn this evening.
Thought For The Day – The CDC says to put disinfectant on the places you touch the most. Don’t do it. It burns like hell!