Shoot The Moon

Here’s another misadventure from the Nick Happens casefile.

A few years ago we were hanging out at my friend John’s place when I pulled a stunt I don’t think I’ll ever live down. John is one of those up at the crack of dawn and get a day’s work done before noon kind of guys. And you know me, I prefer to sleep in late, start out slow, and then taper off once I do get moving. I justify this by claiming I am an artist and more cerebral than John. He swore I was just lazy. He kept threatening to wake me up early so I could “share his day.” His term was “I want your bright, shining face to be the first thing I see in the morning.”

John is a man of routines, and they never vary. Every morning he gets dressed, pours a cup of coffee, then goes outside and opens the big doors on the front and back of his pole barn. Well, one morning I happened to wake up early for some reason, and when I looked out our motorhome’s window  the big barn doors were still closed! Wonder of wonders, I was up before he got to them! I threw on some clothes and headed for his place, all set to pound on the door and rouse him.

About then I heard the doors opening on the front end of the barn. So I ran around the barn, positioned myself at the back door and was prepared to be there smiling broadly when John rolled up the door.

Then I got myself a thought, and that’s when everything went to hell. Being your typical red-blooded American male, I’m stuck somewhere between puberty and Medicaid. I looked around – nobody in sight that early in the morning. So I decided to really give my pal John a view to shake him up this morning! I dropped my drawers, turned around, bent over and presented a “full moon” to the door as I heard it start to crank up.

Well, the door rolled up, there I was in my full glory, and I shouted out “Good morning, John!”

No answer. I peered over my shoulder to see John’s pretty lady Linda standing there!

“Uh, good morning, Nick.”

I cannot tell you the thoughts that went through my mind in that instant! I was praying for a bolt of lightning or an earthquake. Hell I would have settled for a tsunami! Did you ever want to rewind your life about one minute? Think how it could change everything for you!

To her credit, Linda knew how to handle the situation gracefully. She said, “Oh honey, if you’re going to go out like that in the morning, you really do need to shave.”

We had been there for several weeks, and this was the very first time Linda went outside to open the doors while John stayed inside lazing over a second cup of coffee!!!!

Linda said she had seen it all now and can die a happy woman. But she spent hours rubbing her eyes….. You know what the say, what has been seen can’t be unseen.

Be sure to enter our latest Free Drawing. This week’s prize is an RV camping journal donated by Barbara House. Barbara makes several variations of these, and they all have pages where you can list the date, weather, where you traveled to and from that day, beginning and ending mileage, campground information including amenities at RV sites, a place for a campground rating, room to record activities, people met along the way, reminders of places to see and things to do the next time you’re in the area, and a page for notes for each day. To enter, click on this Free Drawing link or the tab at the top of this page and enter your name (first and last) in the comments section at the bottom of that page (not this one). Only one entry per person per drawing please, and you must enter with your real name. To prevent spam or multiple entries, the names of cartoon or movie characters are not allowed. The winner will be drawn Sunday evening.

Thought For The Day – It is better to keep quiet and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.