Jan 062019

Whatever you do, please don’t tell my mother-in-law about this blog post. I’m pretty sure that if she reads it she’ll make Miss Terry move back home and won’t let her play with me anymore. She won’t admit it, but sometimes I think she suspects I abuse my wife. And who can blame her, given some of the things that have happened over the years.

Several years ago when we were in the Florida Keys in January, we stopped at a place where you could feed massive tarpon by hand. I encouraged Terry to feed one of them while I took a picture, and when it came out of the water it engulfed her whole arm from wrist to elbow. Fortunately, tarpon don’t have teeth. Unfortunately, the inside of their mouth is made of a bunch of plates that are like sandpaper, and when released her, her arm looked like someone had done exactly that, taken sandpaper to it.

Then, the next January when we stopped in Salt Flat, Texas  to visit a friend. He had quite a bit of acreage and his own shooting range. Terry was target shooting with us and a bullet from the .40 semiautomatic pistol she was shooting ricocheted back from the target and hit her in the upper thigh. Fortunately, it had lost most of its velocity and only left a deep welt in her skin. You can read about that misadventure at this link.

And Friday night, this happened.

And I can’t blame rogue tarpon or ricocheting bullets for this one. No, this was all my fault. We were snuggling in bed before we fell asleep, like we do every night, and Terry asked me if I had set our burglar alarm. I couldn’t remember, so I picked up my phone to check the alarm app. And then I dropped it, smacking her right in the corner of her eye.

It hurt like hell, no question about that, but I think it hurt me even more. At least, I was the one doing the crying while Terry was comforting me. Seriously, I can’t tell you how bad I felt from my clumsiness, and I’ve been kicking my own butt ever since. I know accidents happen, but I hate it when I’m the cause of them. Especially when I hurt somebody I love so much.

Terry says she’s fine, and it only hurts when she touches it. I’m not sure if that’s really true, or if she’s just trying to make me feel better. If that’s the case, it’s not working.

To top all of that off, we also got married in January. No, it’s just not a good month for her.

Today is your last chance to enter our Free Drawing for an RV camping journal donated by Barbara House. Barbara makes several variations of these, and they all have pages where you can list the date, weather, where you traveled to and from that day, beginning and ending mileage, campground information including amenities at RV sites, a place for a campground rating, room to record activities, people met along the way, reminders of places to see and things to do the next time you’re in the area, and a page for notes for each day. To enter, click on this Free Drawing link or the tab at the top of this page and enter your name (first and last) in the comments section at the bottom of that page (not this one). Only one entry per person per drawing please, and you must enter with your real name. To prevent spam or multiple entries, the names of cartoon or movie characters are not allowed. The winner will be drawn this evening.

Thought For The Day – If you hear 20 minutes of moaning and me saying “oh my God” from my bedroom in the morning, that’s just me trying to stand up.

Nick Russell

World-Famous, New York Times Best Selling Author, and All-Around Nice Guy!

  7 Responses to “January Is Not Her Month”

  1. Hey Nick. If Terry gets tired of all the abuse, tell her to come on over. I’ve got a copy of her recipe book, so just tell her to bring her Breville! 🙂

  2. I thought it was only old cell phones that were called ‘bricks’. Hope Miss Terry gets well soon and goes shopping on Amazon for a sweater for you that has “Clumsy’ on the chest.

  3. OK Miss Terry, let us hear “the rest of the story”. I once got hit by a tree and had a black eye and no one would believe me when I told them how it happened so I had to “manufacture” a tale about getting hit with a kitchen cupboard door. My husband actually cut down a tree and it fell right on top of me, branches and all. Actually kicked my glasses off and we had to spend an hour looking for them. The truth is sometimes very, very strange…..

  4. Kinda sounds like Terry need to take a month long vacation by herself every January! 🙂 Ed

  5. You’ve gotta stop hurting your wife!!

  6. I can feel Miss Terry’s pain. I recently dropped my cell phone while reading in bed. It landed directly on my bottom lip and bruised royally. I also had to post it was not caused by spousal abuse. Ice pack and coverup makeup for a few weeks!

  7. Try Arnica from health food store great for bruising and the pain. Used it in 2008 when we totaled the Harley.
    Get better Miss Terry ???

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