Did you ever have one of those oops moments? One of those times when you do something, and the instant you do it, you know that was a big mistake? I’ve had a lot of those in my life, more than I care to mention.
When my son Travis was a baby we bought a waterbed. The day it was delivered and installed I came home from work and my wife at the time asked me if I would change the baby’s diaper while she set the table for dinner. So I laid the little guy in the bed, took the pins out of his diaper (do you remember cloth diapers?), and stuck them down into the mattress, just like I always did. And the second I did my mind said oops! It’s funny the dumb things we do right after we just do something else really dumb. I pulled the pins out real quick, like I hoped the waterbed mattress wouldn’t notice. It noticed. 🙁
A few years ago, back when we had our old MCI bus conversion, I decided to clean the old-style oil bath air filter on the diesel engine. For those unfamiliar with such an animal, the filter was contained in a vertical canister with a reservoir of oil at the bottom, designed to trap particles and drop them down into the oil before they could get to the engine itself and do any damage.
The bus was almost 30 years old at the time, and I doubt anybody had ever cleaned the filter. The inside of the tank had a thick coating of grime, and I used a putty knife to scrape as much of it away as I could. When the job was finally finished the filter and canister was looking really good, but I was looking really bad. I was covered in caked on gunk from head to toe. Knowing that Miss Terry would not appreciate me coming into the bus looking like that, I was trying to figure out a way get cleaned up really quick when I realized that we had a can of spray carburetor cleaner. Hey that stuff cuts right through the grease, I bet it’ll work!
So I liberally sprayed my neck, hands and arms down, and about a nanosecond later the biggest oops of my life escape my lips! That stuff set my skin on fire, from the tips of my fingers to my armpits I felt like I was bathed in napalm. And then it started running downhill to other places, if you get my drift. So there I am, standing in Elkhart Campground doing a striptease and yelling “Help me!” Terry came running outside to see what the commotion was, and grabbed the hose and started washing me down. I’m sure she meant well, but what she actually accomplished was getting the nasty chemical to the places it hadn’t found yet. Yeah, I was screaming like a little girl. A little girl with her little boy parts on fire!
We had an oops yesterday. After chasing down copies of Terry’s marriage license and divorce papers from her first marriage, so she can get her drivers license renewed, we decided to apply for passports. Not because we plan to go anywhere, just because it seems like everybody needs them these days to keep the Homeland Security dweebs happy if we want to do anything from renewing licenses to opening a bank account or ordering a pizza.
We planned to do that yesterday when we went through downtown Phoenix to pick up the new issue of the Gypsy Journal at the FedEx freight dock. So we had a manila envelope with the completed passport applications, the marriage and divorce papers I mentioned above, and our Social Security cards in it. We also have a couple of orders to mail off, in the same sized envelopes, so we pulled up to a mailbox in front of a store on our way, to drop the orders off. Can you see this coming? Just as the envelopes, including the one with all of our personal information, went into the mailbox with everything in it, we both yelled oops! Actually it was more like “Oh sh#&!!!” Talk about making an identity thief’s job easy!
The sticker on the mailbox said that pickup time was 4:45 PM, and it was only a little after noon, so we drove a few blocks to the nearest post office, where I explained our predicament to a supervisor. He said once the envelope got picked up and mixed in with the rest of the mail, it could be a real hassle to try to find it and advised us that our best bet was to be at the mailbox when the postman came by to empty it. He also told me that it was really up to that individual’s discretion whether or not to release it to us.
We were back parked next to that mailbox an hour before pickup time, just in case he came by early and when the mail truck finally pulled up, I explained our mistake to the gentleman. He was very nice and just asked to see our drivers licenses to confirm that the information inside the envelope matched. We were really happy to get that envelope back in our possession! And you can bet we’re in no hurry to have our next “oops” moment. 🙂
Thought For The Day – I’ve decided to start eating healthy and to grow all of my own foods. Does anyone know where I can buy Twinkie seeds?